Crazy Diet Lady

In reading some of my previous posts, it seems that I’ve painted a rather dismal picture of life after weight loss. I’ve asserted that you can’t eat any of the “good foods,” not even in moderation. I’ve posited that being hungry might not always be a bad thing. I’ve suggested you have birthday broccoli instead of birthday cake. I’ve gone so far as to propose not eating sweets at all, even those containing only zero-calorie sweeteners! Have I become a kind of food Nazi, promoting a joyless gray existence, devoid of one of the most satisfying of life’s pleasures, to enjoy a flavorful meal?

This is exactly the dreary purgatory that the popular culture cautions against, aided in no small measure by the food industry and food advertisements. We are offered a Sophie’s choice. Be healthy but at the cost of eating bland and boring gruel. Or eat with gusto and abandon but endure the indignities and potential health effects of excess weight. This is the reason you drool over pepperoni pizza with cheese baked into the crust, because you’ve been sold on the idea that it’s exciting in a way that grilled chicken and salad are not. And make no mistake. You have been sold.

It’s possible I’ve also portrayed myself as a bit eccentric. Just how OCD do you have to be to measure portions every time, follow the same dietary routine every day, weigh yourself every morning. Just how anal must you become to maintain a laser focus on your diet, making course corrections on a minute-by-minute basis, all to keep your weight within that five-pound sweet spot you’ve selected? Perhaps it seems odd, but aren’t those late night binge rituals that none of us want to admit to a tad strange too?

Well, eccentric or not, the fact is that my life is better at a lower weight, even if that means broccoli instead of cake. A lot better. The three-minute joy of eating a scoop of Cherry Garcia, even the half-hour ecstasy of scarfing down the whole pint, is nothing compared to the difference in the way I feel. Now I can spend an entire day sightseeing without my knees giving out. I can walk up a flight, or three, of stairs without being out of breath. I can wear a bathing suit without trepidation. I can tuck in my shirt – you have no idea how much pleasure I get from tucking in my shirt!

Here’s another shocker. Healthy food is not boring at all! It only seems that way when your taste buds have been taken hostage by the über-flavors of The Pigs. Once you detox your tongue, you’ll discover the amazing taste sensations that nature affords. The tang of plain yogurt. The nuttiness of roasted Brussels sprouts. The sweet juice of a perfectly ripened tomato. Appreciating these subtle and sublime flavors when you’re accustomed to a heavy slathering of fat, sugar and salt is like trying to hear the purring of a kitten while standing next to a construction site. Not gonna happen.

It’s not easy to untangle from the cultural admonition that healthy eating is dull and to be avoided at all costs, but it can be done. It will feel like suffering at first, as you endure withdrawal from food addictions and familiar comfortable ways. But then one day you’ll have a craving and be amazed to discover that what you hunger for is a salad. Yes, a salad.

Hey, crazier things have happened!