The Three Little Pigs

Let’s start at the beginning with the story of the Three Little Pigs.

Once upon a time, there were Three Little Pigs. Their names were Fat, Sugar, and Salt. It is gospel in the foodie world that a dish cannot taste good unless it contains at least one, and preferably two, of these sacred ingredients. Whether it’s creamy and sweet or salty and crispy, to be considered “good food,” a meal must comply with this edict. This puts the average person in quite a bind because if they want to eat for health, which has been defined as limiting the amount of fat, sugar and salt in their diet, then what follows logically is that they are doomed to a lifetime of bland and unappetizing eating.

The food industry, trying to sell all things to all people, has responded to this dilemma by creating “fat-free,” “sugar-free,” and “low sodium” versions of all of our guilty favorites. And so, tragedy leads to atrocity – I once bought a tub of fat-free cream cheese. I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten fat-free cream cheese, but it’s pretty vile. The dirty little secret, don’t ya know, about the “fat-free” label is this: because food manufacturers live and die by the story of the Three Little Pigs, any product labeled “fat-free” will probably be loaded with sugar and salt. It’s a similar sad tale for “sugar-free” and “low-sodium” foods.

If this seems an impossible quandary, it is only so if you buy into the gospel of the Three Little Pigs. After all, who says you need fat, sugar and salt in order for food to taste good? In a way, these three amigos are like the most addictive of drugs. I read once that the reason crack is so habit-forming is because it creates an artificial high that can’t be replicated by anything in the natural world; I would argue that refined sugar is not so different. Just imagine trying to appreciate the subtly awesome sweetness of a perfectly ripe peach after you’ve just eaten a piece of peach cobbler slathered in whipped cream and laden with high fructose corn syrup?

What’s even worse is that if you buy into the tenets of the Three Little Pigs, then after you eat that exquisite peach, you will not feel satisfied and happy about the wonderful bounty nature has provided for you.  Instead, you will feel deprived because you couldn’t eat the peach cobbler, which the food culture anoints as one of the “good foods.” That feeling of deprivation leads to temptation, and then to desperation, and before you know it, you find yourself waking up in the morning, groggy and unable to remember the previous night yet surrounded by empty tubs of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

So what’s a girl to do?

The food culture will tell you that you can eat these fatty, sugary, salty foods as long as you are careful to consume them in moderation (stay tuned for a future post on the myth of moderation). You can also find some crutches, things like zero-calorie sweeteners, to help satisfy your taste buds without a caloric overload. In my experience, those things work in a pinch, but they’re not long term solutions because they leave the root of the belief untouched, that fat, sugar and salt are necessary for “good food,” and also, they keep you addicted to the rush of their super-saturated über-flavors.

It’s not easy, but you can free yourself from the tyranny of the Pigs. Give your taste buds a break sometime. Think of it as detox. Once you’ve cleansed yourself of the Three Little Pigs, you’ll start to notice some strange things.  Like just how good a perfectly ripe peach can really be.