Perfection

I’ve been reading a lot of other blogs lately written by people who’ve been through what I’ve been through: losing a lot of weight and working to keep it off. It’s been cathartic to finally find a community that gets it. Until now, I’ve shared my experiences with people who’ve never been seriously overweight, or conversely, with those who have but think there’s no workable, lasting solution to obesity. To finally talk to folks who’ve been there and done that is thrilling to say the least.

One thing I’ve noticed is that while everyone I’ve encountered in weight cyberspace has had similar experiences, many have drawn very different conclusions than I have. This fact actually excites me because I’ve learned some things and discovered new perspectives that can only help as I move forward on this weight maintenance journey. Even when I disagree with what someone says, I can see where they’re coming from and respect that their opinion was arrived at just as honestly as mine was.

There’s a big idea that many of my fellow bloggers have expressed that I completely disagree with, that we have to deal with mental issues – about food and self-esteem among other things – before lasting weight success can be achieved. I’ve brushed the surface of this topic in previous posts about emotional eating and our relationship with food, but I want to explore one aspect of this a little further. I seem to detect something dangerous lurking beneath the waters and that is the specter of Perfection.

Every person who’s ever been seriously overweight has dreamed of the perfect life they will have when they finally reach whatever magical weight they’ve established for themselves. In fact, one of the biggest challenges to maintaining a large weight loss is mourning the demise of that cherished belief, when you reach your perfect weight and find that a perfect life still eludes you. How different from that is this idea that you have to perfect your mental state before attempting to deal with your weight?

It is undeniably true that people have issues with food. It is also undeniably true that food issues can significantly affect what you eat, how much you eat, and what you weigh. But I believe you can take care of your body and reach a state of health that includes being a normal weight without having to clear out every eccentricity and neurotic cobweb from your head. I’m a perfect example. I’m way crazier about food now than I was 100 pounds ago, but I’ve managed to work with my nuttiness. The key is having a strong motivation, which for me was created out of something that happened seven years ago.

In the summer of 2005, I had relatively minor surgery on my foot and had been told that I would need about a week to recover. My recovery took nearly four times longer than that because I had to use crutches while my foot healed and I was simply too out of shape to do that. During that time period, I was a functional invalid and that realization hit me hard, as I was only 48 years old and thought of myself as resilient. It brought me face-to-face with the future and how I might cope with health issues as a 70-year-old woman who weighed 250 pounds. The terror of that vision set me on this road and I’ve never looked back, neuroses or no.

So, I don’t agree that food issues have to be resolved or healed or made peace with in order to lose weight for good. And there is no such thing as a perfect relationship with food, no matter what you weigh. All I can say is start where you are and do what you can. Whatever happens, it is better than waiting for a perfect opportunity that will always be just beyond your grasp.