The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I got a lot of feedback on my last post, in which I discussed the darker side of losing weight. While I’m encouraged at the upbeat support offered by friends and family, I have to say that I already knew most of what they said. Yes, I have done a really good thing. It probably will get easier as time goes on. It’s true, I just need to hang in there and focus on the positive. Please understand that I didn’t intend to portray myself as wallowing in self-pity. The reason for talking about the hard part is simple: it’s reality.

When a person who’s lost a lot of weight is presented in the popular media, the emphasis is always on the happy stuff. How much better they must feel. How proud they must be of their big accomplishment. Life after weight loss is often portrayed as a perpetual party, an emotional high that never winds down.

Except that’s not the whole story. For all of the truly good things that come to those who lose, there are also many difficulties. I think it’s a lot like marriage – so many of us focus on the joy of the wedding and the hope for unending happily ever after. But then one day you realize that you’re stuck with this really annoying person, who hogs the blankets, leaves the toilet seat up, and watches the same World War II documentaries over and over and over again. That’s when marriage really starts, in my opinion, on the day when you no longer feel giddy at the sight of your beloved. And that’s when life after fat really starts too, on the day when you think you’ll go insane if you have to eat one more salad with grilled chicken. Or explain one more time to your cookie-crazed co-worker why you won’t be trying one of their famous chocolate chip creations, thank you very much.

So imagine you are an unsuspecting previously pudgy person, embarking on a new thin life, expecting all things bright and beautiful, and doncha know you start hitting post-fat speed bumps. What are you to think? You’ve been told that life after losing weight is a non-stop joyfest, yet you are feeling something distinctly other than joy. You might think that it has something to do with you, maybe you’re to blame, or you’re deficient in some way. Perhaps you’ll start to feel discouraged, wonder if you just aren’t up to the challenge of keeping the weight off. You’ve certainly heard how everyone regains the weight they lost eventually, so why not you too?

That’s why I talk about the dark side. Because it exists. Because pretending it doesn’t exist makes it even more powerful. And forewarned is forearmed. If you know there will be moments when you will wonder whether you were nuts to ever think you could do something this audacious, when you will fear that you just may not be up to the task, then perhaps that knowledge will be the tipping point that gives you the strength to weather the storm for one more day, one more minute, or one more cookie.

We formerly fat folk need all the help we can get. Platitudes need not apply.