Decisions, Decisions

As George W. Bush famously said in 2006, “I’m the decider and I decide what is best.” I love that quote because it combines an unapologetic bluntness with a childlike naiveté and so seems a quintessentially American thing to say. But back to my point, that pithy phrase makes me wonder something. When it comes to deciding what to eat, how many of us could actually say those words and mean it?

Not too many, I think, if I believe what people around me say. On a regular basis I hear all kinds of stuff that leads me to the conclusion that chocolate in any form cannot be resisted. Nor can pastries, cookies, ice cream, cake, pie, potatoes, corn chips, pizza, and grilled cheese. Or wine. (Don’t get me started on wine.) And this, by the way, is not the complete list. It seems that each of us has a litany of foods that we are powerless against. If they are in the house, we must eat them. Period.

Funny, but we don’t say the same thing about other foods. No one appears to have any difficulty whatsoever resisting broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, spinach or peas. In fact, these items can only be eaten if they are drenched in a magic elixir such as butter, bacon fat or melted cheddar cheese. Sometimes I think the resistibility factor of any specific food is inversely proportional to how healthy it is – that which kills us must be eaten, that which heals us must be shunned. It’s the law.

Well, I don’t buy that we are as powerless as we claim to be. Most people I know are pretty stubborn about what they do and don’t want, so I think the average Joe (or Joanne!) is capable of resisting anything, for no other reason than because they can. Consider this: if I were to tell you that you must eat an entire apple pie – every day – and you had no say in the matter, would you submit to my demand? My guess is that the majority of people would refuse to comply. Not because they don’t like apple pie, but because you’re not the boss of them!

Gadzooks! Why didn’t I think of this before? For decades, nutritional experts have been advising us that we shouldn’t eat the foods that are bad for us. Which of course just makes us more determined to eat them. But, if we harness the power of reverse psychology… Do you see? We tell everyone that they must eat ice cream at every meal. And not a puny scoop, but something on the order of Ben & Jerry’s Vermonster, a 20-scoop Sundae Goliath that has achieved near-mythic status. What you say, you’re craving a salad? Verboten!

Ah, wishful thinking.

Yet the truth is that you are the decider. Only you decide whether you or the Kit Kat bar is in control. If you think you have no choice in the matter, it is because you have become accustomed to surrendering your power, not because a candy bar is miraculously walking across the room and jumping into your mouth. With a simple locking of the lips, the outcome could easily go the other way. This might sound like heresy in the Land of the Baconator, but trust me, it can be done.

Here’s another quote that I like, from American food theorist Ann Wigmore: “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.”

Medicine or poison? Poison or medicine? Hey, you’re the decider.