The Things I Believed

The things I believed before I lost a lot of weight:

You can only lose weight and keep it off through a "sensible lifestyle change." 

This is what I was told, that diets don't work and the way to keep weight in check is to find a sensible lifestyle that you can stick with for the long run. This sounds very logical, except for one tiny problem: the human body. The human body is often likened to a vehicle and food the fuel for its engine. But the human metabolism differs from internal combustion in one very important way. The human metabolism has an ulterior motive that transcends mere digestion -- it is designed to keep you alive. A car engine will happily self-destruct if it does not have the right fuel or lubrication. Your metabolism, if it senses possible danger ahead, will ADJUST. So you, the hapless pudgy person who wishes to drop a little tonnage, you give up dessert and then do the calorie math, figuring you should lose about a pound each week. Hah! Your metabolism says, "Gee, fewer calories available this week, don't want to use up the reserves quite yet, just in case you know, guess we'll s-l-o-w things down." Translation: you don't lose an ounce for all of your effort. The only way to get your metabolism's attention and convince it to give up a fat cell or two is to cut way back and make it believe starvation is imminent. In other words, you must go on a diet, and a strict one at that.

The best diet is...

...the Mediterranean diet. Or the Paleo diet. Or the Ornish diet. Or the Grapefruit diet. Low-carb. High protein. Gluten-free. Vegan. There are a gazillion diets out there and each one has its devoted adherents. In actuality, though, there is no one best diet that works for everyone. The best diet is the one that works best for you. One thing I rarely hear discussed, however, it that the best diet for you to lose weight may not be the best diet for you to maintain that weight loss. How to find the best maintenance diet? No one can tell you. It is all trial and error in my experience. What makes it even more maddening is that what works best for you may change over time. I am currently dealing with a post-menopausal metabolism deceleration and I haven't found what works best for me now, only that what I was doing before no longer works. Plus, sadly, my margin of error, my ability to treat myself once in a while without weight gain, has also decreased.

You have to treat yourself occasionally, otherwise you will feel deprived, and as sure as Jerry follows Ben, feelings of deprivation will lead to massive food fails. 

First, let's define a few terms. "Treat" does not mean roasted Brussels sprouts or sautéed kale. "Treat" means something full of fat and sugar and salt. Chocolate. Ice cream. Cheese doodles. "Occasionally" does not mean at Christmas and on your birthday, it means on a somewhat regular basis, at least once a week. Except, I have found that occasionally eating, say, creamsicle soft serve, does not satisfy my desire for creamsicle soft serve. It only makes me want MORE. And that is because foods full of fat, sugar and salt are addictive substances, designed to hook you with every bite. Eating these foods "occasionally" makes me feel more deprived than never eating them. I have found that the best way to deal with cravings for creamsicle soft serve is to avoid being anywhere near it. Sometimes I imagine that maybe I can cheat at cheating, try the sugar-free frozen yogurt instead, because it's healthier.

You can treat yourself with "healthier" versions of your favorite foods.

This is a really insidious concept because it sounds so sensible on the surface, but in reality it chains you to your old way of eating. Yes, lasagna made with vegetables is healthier for you than the gooey richness of the original meat-laden version, but it is still lasagna and still packs a calorie punch. And it reinforces the idea that "good food" is a creamy, cheesy, sloppy mess. Better to eat something completely different, like a medley of roasted vegetables. The fact is that you have to make a radical change to your eating habits to keep off the weight you lost and the more completely you embrace that new reality, the greater your chances of success. A warning though. Do not make a big splash about embracing your new food reality at a major holiday or family celebration. If you are foolish enough to attempt this, you will quickly learn that nobody wants fruits and vegetables at Thanksgiving. They want mounds of stuffing and mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, green beans and crispy onions in cream of mushroom soup, and pie, lots of pie, a la mode, please. Is it any wonder that weight comes back?

The weight always comes back.

This is a tough one, because for most people the weight DOES come back. Case in point, I am working on losing a 30 pound regain right now. But, here's the thing. Saying that the weight always comes back seems to presuppose that it is inevitable, that complex and not fully understood biological or psychological factors doom us to perpetual plumpdom. But what about the social and cultural support, or lack thereof, that the intrepid weight-maintaining person receives? In my experience, trying to navigate the food environment has been the hardest part of maintaining my weight loss. Harder than cravings, harder than changing habits, harder than resisting creamsicle soft serve. You see, no matter how much weight you've lost, there is always someone who's made "something special just for you," and is insistent that you eat it because, after all, one little bite can't hurt. Or someone who wants to go out and "treat yourself to something special," because, after all, you deserve it. Of course, "something special" is never poached salmon and steamed broccoli. By definition, "something special" is " something that will make you gain weight." Like creamsicle soft serve. Or lasagna. Or pie.

One final bite: 

I always thought that weight gain and loss was about what I put in my mouth. Maybe it's time to pay more attention to the beliefs we put in our heads.

The Truth About Hot Fudge and Deep Fat

It’s hard to know what to believe when it comes to diet and weight. Every day brings new information about what’s healthy and what’s not, often in direct contradiction to what we were told yesterday.  Eat lots of fish – don’t eat lots of fish, it contains mercury! Eat fresh fruit – watch out for pesticides on fruit! Eliminate fat in your diet – make sure you eat “healthy” fats! Sugar is bad – Splenda is worse! It reminds me of that Woody Allen movie “Sleeper,” where a man who was a health nut in the 1970s wakes up in the distant future, only to discover that the new health foods are hot fudge and deep fat.

Here are two common and contradictory beliefs about diet and weight. The first is that people who are successful in losing weight are completely transformed and will never be overweight again. The second is that it is impossible to lose a large amount of weight and keep it off for any length of time. While these concepts seem to cancel each other out, I see them as two sides of a coin. One belief serves us as we lose weight, promising that once we reach our goal, all the hard work will end and our new thin life will go on effortlessly and happily ever after. Then, when the weight starts to creep back on, the other belief keeps us from feeling too bad about it. Well, in my world, there is no transformation and weight maintenance is not impossible. In fact, rejecting the myth of transformation is what I believe makes long-term weight maintenance success possible.

If there is no transformation, then what’s a formerly fat girl to do? What works for me is to treat my tendency to obesity as a disease that I happen to have, one that I have to work on every minute of every day. As soon as I go automatic, start eating mindlessly or skipping exercise, I’m in trouble. I went automatic last winter and, before I knew it, I had gained ten pounds. That might not sound like much, especially compared to the hundred pounds I lost, but it’s easy to delude yourself about weight. I could say I was busy, stressed out even, and it wasn’t really my fault, but does that matter? Ten pounds gained is ten pounds gained. I’ve spent this summer losing those ten pounds, one excruciating ounce at a time.

Would you believe it if I told you that those of us who have managed to lose weight and keep it off are successful because: 1) something has scared the living daylights out of us; and 2) we have a lot of help? Consider this. I had minor foot surgery in 2005 and it crippled me for weeks. Why? Because I was so out of shape that I couldn’t use crutches. I hobbled around with a walker for a good two weeks; it was the most humbling and terrifying experience of my life, forcing me to confront my extreme weight and what it was doing to me. It also posed a frightening question: if I’m having this much trouble recuperating from minor surgery at age 48, what will happen if I weigh 250 pounds at age 70 and have a health problem? Will it be curtains for me? It took a while to figure it out, but in 2007 I enrolled in a medically supervised diet and exercise behavior modification program. In other words, I got help. Even once I reached my goal weight, I continued to get help by seeing a nutritionist on a regular basis. And believe me, I need the help. If I was trying to do this left to my own devices, I probably would have regained all the weight I lost, and then some, by now.

It’s hard to know what’s true about diet and weight. It’s easy to throw up your hands and say to hell with it. But take it from me, health is possible.

You just have to believe.

Systems Thinking

I read an interesting article today. It was called “Leverage Points: Places to Intervene in a System,” by Donella Meadows. What I found intriguing was her assertion that the most powerful way to change any system for the better (or for the worse, I suppose) is to change the root beliefs that underlie that system, the concepts that everyone agrees with but rarely speaks of because they are so fundamental. A fancy way to say this would be that you have to expose the cultural paradigm.

Such a simple idea, but not obvious I think based on what passes for political and social discourse in this toddler phase of the 21st century. When was the last time you heard anyone – in the government, in the mass media, in the cubicle next to you at work – question whether their beliefs were the right ones to achieve their goals? No, what we have now is the exact opposite, a state of affairs where people’s beliefs are so hardened and intractable that it seems we can’t agree on anything, but can only hurl insults at each other. (I’ve got to stop watching cable television talk shows.)

I’ve written about many of our cultural food beliefs. How food can’t taste good unless it’s loaded with fat, sugar and salt. How being hungry is to be avoided at all costs. The tenacious coupling of food with celebration. Yet, after reading this article, I wondered, is there something else? Something more fundamental underneath it all?

Try this: obesity is an individual problem.

Why do I suggest that this is the prime paradigm about food and weight? Well, just look around. Where do we spend all of our time and energy, trying to solve the “obesity epidemic”? Developing weight loss drugs, engineered foods (“low-fat,” “low-carb,” “sugar-free”) and techniques for weight loss surgery, all aimed at the individual overweight person. We keep asking the same question over and over. Why do those who lose large amounts of weight regain it so easily? Then we hunker down even harder to find the magic appetite suppressant or a more effective gastric bypass. All of these efforts focus on the person with the weight problem and how to give them the strength to resist the foods that make them fat.

But what if obesity is not an individual problem? What if our culture is the problem? A culture that glorifies excess and gluttony (how else do you explain a Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger?). That twists logic in order to tell us that we must have regular “treats,” otherwise we will feel deprived and overeat (probably more “treats!”). A 24/7 mass media that smothers us with hard-core food advertising calculated to appeal to our basest culinary desires. It is an elaborate and diabolical system designed to keep people fat and it works!

If obesity is an individual problem, then you will spend all your time lamenting your failure to maintain a normal weight. You may even feel bad enough about yourself that you will give up, decide that you can’t lose weight, no point in trying. You may decide that your only recourse is to go on a food binge, hoping that a brownie (or twelve) will unleash mega-endorphins and make you feel better. It’s an endless cycle.

But, if obesity is not an individual problem, well, then who knows what’s possible?