Hah!
This is the big lie of weight loss, that once you lose a lot
of weight, you become a “new” person. In American-speak, “new” generally means “better.”
So, we who have managed to drop some tonnage are encouraged to think of
ourselves as improved versions our former selves. We are changed in some
fundamental way that makes weight regain impossible. Yet, the statistics show
the exact opposite outcome. The vast majority of people who lose a large amount
of weight regain all of it (and maybe more) within a year or two. And then the
cycle starts all over again, with a new resolution.
Here is what I’ve experienced since reaching my goal weight five
years ago:
Your old, fat self never goes away. Never. It is said that
there is nothing certain in life but death and taxes. Whoever said this never
met my Inner Fat Girl. Inner Fat Girl is indestructible, much like the way
roaches are immune to nuclear radiation. Even if She has been kept at bay for
five years, She is always in ready position, poised to strike. The only way to
defeat Inner Fat Girl is through eternal vigilance.
I know what you’re going to say. Eternal vigilance? Are you
nuts? That sounds too hard. Well, you know what? It is hard. And ironically, admitting that it’s hard makes it easier. Another
reason it’s easier than you think is because you don’t have to confront Inner
Fat Girl head on. You see, Inner Fat Girl is quite sure of Herself, which makes
Her vulnerable to attack from the side. You can change one small habit to be
healthier, maybe have an apple with lunch instead of chips. Or decide to start
taking a ten minute walk every day. Over time, the small things add up and
Inner Fat Girl will be too busy to notice, focused as She is with admiring Her own
image in the mirror.
The key is to never allow yourself to be lulled into false
complacency. Or worse, false pride. The moment you begin to think of yourself
as a permanently thin person is the moment you are most vulnerable to regain.
Inner Fat Girl will be a permanent companion for the rest of your life and you should
be glad of that because She will keep you honest in your efforts to be as
healthy as you can be.
There is also something else that disturbs me about this
idea of becoming a “new” (read: “better”) person when you lose weight. It
implies that there is something wrong with the heavier person you are now. In
my view, what is really wrong is our
food culture, one that glorifies and celebrates excess consumption, then turns
around and blames those who suffer the health consequences.
Here’s a resolution for the New Year: Learn to love your “old,”
“unimproved” self and vow to do one new and healthier thing every day. Inner
Fat Girl won’t thank you, but She’s like that.
Happy New Year!
Sandy, you hit it out of the ballpark here! Especially that last part about learning to love your old unimproved self. I think that that is one giant advantage I had at the start of my last weight loss journey. I did already think very highly of myself LOL.
ReplyDeleteI think the false pride is something that I have struggled with a bit. Being considered a 'successful maintainer' and then having some weight regain (I am very thankful that it was only as much as it was) caused me some stress. I mean, I caused the stress myself if that makes sense.
I get what you're saying about the stress of being considered "successful" at maintaining. Sometimes I feel like I have to be perfect at it. Since I am merely human, that's not easy!
DeleteI was an utter train wreck in my fat days. The fat was just the part that was easily visible. I made poor choices with a lot of things, I was causing myself to be sick, I was miserable. When I fixed a lot of those things, a side benefit was I got thin. All of that work continues to this day. The boundary work I have done since spring of 2011 being the most important. Maybe I did not regain because that inner work continues. My food continues to improve to this day. I do not beat myself up over my old self. I simply did not understand in those days. When I knew better, I did better. As I understand, I apply that knowledge.
ReplyDeleteVery good post.
That's it exactly. You don't become better, you just learn to do better.
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