Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Party On Dude!

There is a decision that I have to make. It should be an easy one, but I’m finding it surprisingly hard. The question is: should I go to my office holiday party?

I’ve always gone to my office holiday party. In past years, the custom was that we all went out to lunch at a restaurant. Each of us ordered our meal from a pre-determined menu and it was a sure bet that one of the choices would be something salad-y. This year, for reasons too convoluted to get into here, the plans are different. This year, the party organizers decided to have the lunch brought in. The way it was explained to me was that we would have a local restaurant cater the party. I thought this was a good idea.

Until I saw the menu.

The menu for our holiday party this year is pizza and wings. This is not what I picture when I hear the words “catered lunch.” Don’t get me wrong. I like pizza and wings. A lot. And I don’t want to eat pizza and wings. A lot.

A few have already told me not to make a big deal about it. After all, it’s just one meal. I can eat one piece of pizza and suck it up for sake of the group. Even though I love pizza and will need supreme levels of willpower to eat just one piece.


The holidays are such a minefield for the formerly fat. The way I’ve been dealing with them is to eat like everyone else on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day, gain the inevitable two to four pounds, and then labor (alone I might add) with losing those pounds afterwards. It’s not an ideal approach, but it allows me to enjoy some time with family and friends without feeling like the big killjoy. On other days, I tow the diet line as much as possible. Including at the office holiday party. You see, my plan includes two days of diet debacle, not three. You might say that I’m being awfully rigid. To that I say, welcome to life after a large weight loss.

Here’s the other thing. I keep wondering why it is that I have to make all of the accommodations? Why can’t we meet halfway? I eat some of your gooey Christmas creations and you make a couple less fattening dishes? Would that be so crazy?

So, should I go to the party or not? If I go, I will either eat too much stuff I shouldn’t or I will spend the entire time struggling to avoid eating too much stuff I shouldn’t. If I don’t go, maybe some co-workers will be bothered, but then again, maybe they won’t. Here’s the real question: whose needs matter the most?

I’ll let you know.


  1. I'd go but not eat the food. I found that by putting myself first and treating myself right, it teaches others how to treat me. Much better cycle than eat, repent repeat.

    I use my standard "doctor says" and whip out a meal replacement bar or eat before the event. The co-workers don't have to deal with the day, week, or month after the party, but you will. Think how good you'll feel if you stick to your regular food plan.

    Good luck! Always put yourself first.

    1. Very good advice. I have a lot of trouble putting myself first. That could have a lot to do with why I ended up so overweight in the first place. Thanks for the words of support!

    2. you are not alone, Sandy! I still have trouble putting myself first sometimes. It's a balancing act. Good luck.

      I found out what my group's holiday food menu is (local mexican food) and I'm brining my own taco salad. No sense in a big dose of vegetable oil/ potential wheat exposure and who knows what else. I really connect into how I will feel that night. It's the holiday gift I give myself.

      Take care. Karen P

  2. I was not a big office party attender. So it would be no big deal for me to NOT go. If I did, and that was what they were offering, and I was trying hard to stay on the straight and narrow, I would bring my own food. I have no problem with that. I usually bring something I really like (like my cottage cheese combo-just bring it in a baggie with one of those flat ice packs.) in fact, I am going to do exactly that at our sewing day party. And that is a fairly small group, and the hostess is likely to act offended. To that I will say, do you remember me 7 years ago? And she will shut up.

    It is way too hard for me to eat one piece of pizza.

    1. I'm going to take inspiration from your good example!

  3. When I am faced with these types of situations, I have a bit of a mental swagger. I have no interest in struggling, suffering, back tracking.

    I think you actually have three choices:
    Don't go
    Go and don't eat
    Go with your own food

    I have done all three. When I go and don't eat, I drink a large amount of water while I am there so I always have something in my hand and am putting something in my mouth.

    I will not be put in the position of defending myself or arguing with someone.

    That is where my mental swagger comes in. I have enough of it that no one tries to push food on me.

    I actually had someone question me about choosing not to quilt any more. I just looked at her and said - I do not want to be fat.

    Sometimes I say - I do not want a migraine. That is a true statement for a lot of restaurant type food.

    Today at yoga they were going on and on about how healthy a restaurant was. I asked if they wanted to know or wanted me to stay quiet. They wanted to know. I told them those healthy veggies they were discussing were actually steamed in sugar water and that is why they tasted so good. I said every single other thing was LOADED with sodium.

    It is not that we are special need or difficult. It is the rest of the world who just HAS NO IDEA.

    1. You are right, most people have no idea. It's no mystery to me why most people have so much difficulty maintaining weight loss. People think it has to do with diet & exercise, but I think it's really all this maddening stuff!

  4. I only need so many quilts. I ate while I quilted. I was having wrist and hand issues. I was spending too much time on it. I was spending WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON IT - fabric and supplies are called eye candy for a reason. It was impacting my lower back. There was no up side. It was time to move on with my life and interests. I started exercising instead.