Food Fanatic

Michael “Nanny State” Bloomberg is at it again! Except this time he’s really trying to create a nanny state, literally. If you haven’t heard, starting next month New York City will implement new policies in city hospitals to encourage women who have just given birth to breastfeed rather than use baby formula. At first glance, this may seem like just another instance of government sticking its nose into places where it doesn’t belong, but if you read past the headlines, you’ll see that it’s an effort to promote breastfeeding, not mandate it. As the Mayor said, "Most public health officials want to encourage women to breastfeed at least for the first couple weeks because the outcomes are better. And if they can do it, that's great. And if they can't, they can't. We're not making anybody do it. We're suggesting."

What seemed to get lost in all the hoopla was this little tidbit, namely that manufacturers routinely provide formula to hospitals for free, to be included in “gift bags” for new mothers to take home. Really? We all know the lengths that food manufacturers will go to to entice us to buy their products, from verging-on-pornography advertising, to strategic product placement in television shows and movies, to celebrity endorsements – the list could go on and on. Many have decried food marketing aimed at children, but my goodness, marketing aimed at babies just a few hours old?

There’s been a bit of a backlash to the Big Apple’s plan to eschew rubber nipples in favor of the human kind. The primary objection should be no surprise. Who is Mayor Bloomberg to tell us what to do??? He’s not the boss of us! First he took away our big sodas and now our big bottles! While I can understand the opposition to the ban on 32-ounce servings of sugary drinks (though I think it’s much ado about nothing), I cannot grasp why anyone would disagree with promoting breastfeeding. Yes, of course, adults should be free to eat themselves sick. It’s their God-given right to abuse their digestive systems anyway they please, in fact I think it’s in the Constitution, immediately after the rights to vote, drink ourselves silly and shoot the place up. But can we get real about the food we feed newborn babies?

Lord knows I’m no expert on the best way to feed a baby, but I do see a pattern here. It starts with formula and then moves on to Gerbers and Beechnut. As soon as the wee ones can sit up, introduce Chicken McNuggets and Fruitables. Once adolescence rears its ugly hormone-soaked head, add in Dominos Stuffed Cheesy Bread and Starbucks Smoothies. When middle-aged spread makes its appearance, call in the Lean Cuisine. And in your golden years, don’t forget to drink your Ensure! You see, it’s now possible to live your entire life without eating a single food in its natural form. And of course, everything that’s added to these industrially produced edibles is completely safe. How do I know that? Because the manufacturers say so!

It seems that in this new millennium simply eating a food in its normal, unadorned state can be the most radical of acts. You mean, you ate an apple? A plain apple? Not applesauce, or apple pie, or Apple Toaster Strudel? Egads! You must be one of those food fanatics.

Guilty as charged.